i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
