I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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