ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
