so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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