did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
