There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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