I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
