@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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