the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
