All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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