just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
