He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
