after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we're making bets on your personal life
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
