They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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