Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
sex in a hospital.. check
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
