Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
