the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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