Who did Billy Mays play for?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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