so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
