Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
