Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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