Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
