dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
