Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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