I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
