I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
