I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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