How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
