I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize