and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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