no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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