Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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