You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
