where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize