I hate your face
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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