her facebook's as public as her vagina
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
