I can tuck mytits in my pants
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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