Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
