she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
