Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize