just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
