I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Randomize
