Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
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Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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