Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Randomize