I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
