He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize