I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
