Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Life is so much better after having sex.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
