i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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