all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
