So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
