she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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