Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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