She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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