I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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