Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Randomize
