how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
