i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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