But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The adults are the big ones right?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
