How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
pray to the hookup gods
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize