good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.