omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.