Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW