if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
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Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
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I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.