Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"

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  (507): You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!" http://tfl.nu/pues
  Replies (7) Good night (3660) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"

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  (856): we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon" http://tfl.nu/pn3g
  Replies (4) Good night (4150) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.

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  (352): Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better. http://tfl.nu/0zrx
  Replies (3) Good night (759) Bad night (1615)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY

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  (914): Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY http://tfl.nu/p14o
  Replies (11) Good night (3664) Bad night (1470)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.

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  (832): Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me. http://tfl.nu/x609
  Replies (5) Good night (2571) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.

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  (870): I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward. http://tfl.nu/2glp
  Replies (8) Good night (1369) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.

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  (775): They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy. (1-775): I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere. http://tfl.nu/3byv
  Replies (6) Good night (2301) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever

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  (775): she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever http://tfl.nu/gkhb
  Replies (11) Good night (648) Bad night (3081)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier

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  (616): Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier http://tfl.nu/md1b
  Replies (2) Good night (2141) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.

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  (816): I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong. http://tfl.nu/3jnj
  Replies (4) Good night (587) Bad night (1204)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up

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  (513): It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up http://tfl.nu/rfwb
  Replies (8) Good night (794) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.

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  (646): I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could. http://tfl.nu/xxra
  Replies (6) Good night (1515) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you

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  (904): All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you http://tfl.nu/8984
  Replies (2) Good night (403) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"

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  (651): these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck" http://tfl.nu/ykzg
  Replies (3) Good night (603) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.

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  (916): I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger. http://tfl.nu/3n2g
  Replies (2) Good night (613) Bad night (252)

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