that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
