I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour