Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

what time did you get home last night?

(1-917): View more from New York City

SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time

(1-917): View more from New York City

He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott

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(917): what time did you get home last night? (1-917): SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time (1-917): He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott http://tfl.nu/lqla

Replies (16) Good night (1795) Bad night (897)
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(161): View more from

that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.

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(161): that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face. http://tfl.nu/0pd0

Replies (22) Good night (1588) Bad night (3524)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room

(1-225): View more from Louisiana

haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?

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(225): I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room (1-225): haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom? http://tfl.nu/q6me

Replies (55) Good night (10429) Bad night (985)
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(607): View more from New York

i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.

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(607): i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change. http://tfl.nu/yfee

Replies (18) Good night (4700) Bad night (825)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?

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(803): If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right? http://tfl.nu/9kx0

Replies (22) Good night (4312) Bad night (1670)
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(702): View more from Nevada

She's never allowed to turn 21 again

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(702): She's never allowed to turn 21 again http://tfl.nu/eyqp

Replies (9) Good night (4647) Bad night (884)
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(206): View more from Washington

Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.

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(206): Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence. http://tfl.nu/f8os

Replies (10) Good night (2501) Bad night (930)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.

(920): View more from Wisconsin

where's the fun in that?

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(715): somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion. (920): where's the fun in that? http://tfl.nu/xkei

Replies (1) Good night (1169) Bad night (624)
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(972): View more from Texas

So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.

(281): View more from Texas

You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...

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(972): So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you. (281): You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it... http://tfl.nu/s196

Replies (4) Good night (1255) Bad night (635)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.

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(973): But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing. http://tfl.nu/ee1i

Replies (1) Good night (621) Bad night (444)
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(702): View more from Nevada

You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.

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(702): You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe. http://tfl.nu/iy8l

Replies (7) Good night (1219) Bad night (261)
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(928): View more from Arizona

it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.

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(928): it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird. http://tfl.nu/qac5

Replies (5) Good night (570) Bad night (296)
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(254): View more from Texas

She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?

(512): View more from Texas

Won't she run out of nose eventually?

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(254): She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually? (512): Won't she run out of nose eventually? http://tfl.nu/f0dc

Replies (3) Good night (517) Bad night (572)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos

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(720): I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos http://tfl.nu/w3a2

Replies (0) Good night (287) Bad night (530)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested

(612): View more from Minnesota

Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us

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(763): No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested (612): Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us http://tfl.nu/ydpg

Replies (7) Good night (1267) Bad night (256)

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