My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
