Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
