do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
